Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
