Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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