I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
