We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
