the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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