OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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