my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
