ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
