dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
