I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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