I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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