Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
