how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
