I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
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