this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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