My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
