I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
