I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
That accounts for only three of the penises
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
