I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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