We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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