I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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