I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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