OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize