could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize