maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
