omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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