I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
