i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
