i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
