Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
