Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
