you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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