I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
