Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
