....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
