let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
