No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
