his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
