Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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