"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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