bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize