I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
