Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
