My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Dick very happy bro
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
