I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
