Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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