the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
