I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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