Do you still have your period?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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