I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
