May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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