I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
