$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
