I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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