Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she told me i tasted like america
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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