that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
