I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
