im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
